a bed
It's almost 2 months now, that I've been without a bed-- just a foam pad. like maybe an inch thick. I have to stretch out my chest in the morning because it hurts, it's as if my lungs hurt. The lack of bed may or may not explain 2 significant bad dreams I've had recently-- one where I was avoiding, interupting, and running away from someone who was trying to propose to me at a camp, and one where I had to go to highschool and missed the bus, and couldn't get a ride, so took to yelling 'but I've graduated, I've graduated already' to unlistening neighbors and sure-to-be-disapproving school officials.
speaking of marriage and graduation, I went back to PGH this weekend, of course, for a wedding, and got to see lots of friends, old and new-ish- but all far away now- including the Triple Threat. Come on, the ex and 2 almosts? The ex you're not quite over, the best friend who crushed on you but not vice versa, and the best friend you crushed on, but who's actually not attracted to... you.. or anyone else of your sex. burn! but isn't 'out'. ooo! throw in that everyone (including your mom!) thinks, instead, the ex is gay, and ex is keeping new gf on the dl (why? we can only wonder) AWKWARD, baby! ..add 24 hours in the car with 3 guys I'd never met (to get to PGH and back) preluded by such mishap as losing my shirt for the wedding on the road and it getting run over 50 times, 15 min. before my ride shows up! SITCOM, baby! ...do you really still wonder why I'm having panic attacks?
this was ment to be a bitter rant, but now its become comedic. guess it wasn't such a great set up for my poem of hurt and uncertainty. what the heck. it's unfinished. you get it anyways!
my foot slipped on the stairs
I dropped the knife
and broke my nose.
love slips like a knife into my skin
like the fear in a foot lost balance
the twinge as wisp brushes lip.
it was a sad sort of homecoming
the kind where you discover
home is gone
maybe it should be :
my foot slipped
I dropped the knife
and broke my nose.
love slips like a knife
like the fear in a foot
and then on from there-- the 3rd line -dude-rocks. ok? wi s wisp sh-s ip? tell me it isn't sweet. that took some time.
speaking of marriage and graduation, I went back to PGH this weekend, of course, for a wedding, and got to see lots of friends, old and new-ish- but all far away now- including the Triple Threat. Come on, the ex and 2 almosts? The ex you're not quite over, the best friend who crushed on you but not vice versa, and the best friend you crushed on, but who's actually not attracted to... you.. or anyone else of your sex. burn! but isn't 'out'. ooo! throw in that everyone (including your mom!) thinks, instead, the ex is gay, and ex is keeping new gf on the dl (why? we can only wonder) AWKWARD, baby! ..add 24 hours in the car with 3 guys I'd never met (to get to PGH and back) preluded by such mishap as losing my shirt for the wedding on the road and it getting run over 50 times, 15 min. before my ride shows up! SITCOM, baby! ...do you really still wonder why I'm having panic attacks?
this was ment to be a bitter rant, but now its become comedic. guess it wasn't such a great set up for my poem of hurt and uncertainty. what the heck. it's unfinished. you get it anyways!
my foot slipped on the stairs
I dropped the knife
and broke my nose.
love slips like a knife into my skin
like the fear in a foot lost balance
the twinge as wisp brushes lip.
it was a sad sort of homecoming
the kind where you discover
home is gone
maybe it should be :
my foot slipped
I dropped the knife
and broke my nose.
love slips like a knife
like the fear in a foot
and then on from there-- the 3rd line -dude-rocks. ok? wi s wisp sh-s ip? tell me it isn't sweet. that took some time.
posted by Grete at 9:08 PM
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